Fear Of The Unknown

doctors appt.

So early this morning we had a doctors appointment because Ayden has had this horrible cough that just didn’t want to go away.

So we saw the doctor and turns out that it might be allergies that might be swelling up his nostrils causing mucus to run down his throat instead of his nose ( because of how swollen his nostrils are) causing Ayden’s cough. So she decided to do blood work for allergy testing and Ayden instantly freaked out which he’s usually so good at the doctors. We are in and out of the doctors office due to his history, it made me so terribly sad for him not knowing what was going to happen, not knowing what he was going to feel etc. No matter how many times I told him how fast the process would be I couldn’t tell him not to be scared because I am not Ayden and I can’t not express what he was feeling inside. I just wanted to express to him that he’s been through so much more that he could even understand at the moment. One day he is going to realize how blessed he is, how much he’s gone through and how he should be the bravest little boy and is the bravest boy I know. Even though I tell him everyday and I told him then he doesn’t understand the extent of his strength but he will someday but for now, as his mother I will remind him.  The love of a mother for their kids will always and is like no other, i’m sure all you mamas agree with me.

We should be receiving the blood results within a week hoping everything turns out well, I shall keep you guys update.

Love you guys!

 

 

Cancun Mexico 2017

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We were blessed to go to Cancun Mexico this summer and it was an AMAZING experience!! We couldn’t have chosen a better destination for our family vacation. The main reason why we chose Cancun was because of the beaches. Ayden and Aubrey are beach bums they can be in the water all day long!! The beaches were so beautiful we were able go scuba diving and swim with fish and had so many more activities for the entire family.  The number of beaches you can go to are literally endless and there’s not one  beach that would disappoint you!! Heres a video from our trip and few pictures hope you guys enjoy!!!

 

 

 

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Big 6!!

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The time has come again so fast, in a blink of an eye you went from one to two, three to four and now five to six years old. I never realized how fast time passed by until I became a mother. From the moment you were born it’s been in possible from me to grasp time and make it stop.

I hope you continue to have that happy soul you’ve always had inside, you put a smile on everyone you come across. I know you will achieve all your goals and I’ll be right here next to you through the good and the bad.

I Love you.ayden1ayden-12ayden-11ayden-8ayden-7ayden-5ayden-4ayden-3ayden-2

You are my son, my moon and my stars

fullsizerenderIt has been an emotional few weeks .

A little back story, back in 2004 Ayden suffered a brain injury that was caused by an infection that took over one side of his brain. He was in critical condition but with prayer and Ayden being the strong boy he is, he over came it at all. Yea he had to relearn the ability to walk, talk, eat etc. but that was the last of our concerns the important part was Ayden was awake. After taking about two years of therapy he was back where he should be at his age and recovered. Now that he started school his teachers has been concerned about his inability to focus for longer periods of time. Which me as HIS mother, I know Ayden his a happy boy, energetic, incredibly happy. It never became much of a concern until his teachers advised me to take him to his Dr. specially because of his extensive medical history. After visiting Ayden’s neurologist he has been diagnosed with ADHD, which kids who suffer from any brain injuries are more likely to get ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.) Don’t get me wrong there is a lot of people out there with ADHD it is very common, but when someone tells you YOUR child has ADHD and you feel like your child is being labeled you become defensive, confused, sad, all these emotions i can’t even  explain because all I am thinking is about Ayden.

The last thing a mother wants is someone labeling your child or be seen different than anyone else. Like his Doctor explains, he will eventually outgrow it, but what about the mean time? How will I make sure his teachers are showing him the patience he needs, giving him that little extra attention he needs. How will I know he isn’t being treated different when I am not around. As a mother all you want to do is protect your kids from anything that can cause him any harm, sadness or neglect. When you feel that power is being taken away from you it breaks you inside. I want to be there for him, like I have been since he was baby. There comes a time when you can’t, you can’t be there every minute of the day to make sure they are ok. I guess this is the time where it is my time to grow and believe everything is going to be ok.

As if I wasn’t filled with mixed emotions already, then came the talk about medicating or not medicating, side effects and other alternatives. For now we will opt-out on the medication and do every other alternative possible. I can’t see myself medicating my five year old son on a daily basis because he is a little more active than other kids. Makes me only doubt my decisions as a mother and I wonder if I’m making the right decisions for him, when at times us as adult we can’t even make a rational decision when it pertains to us.

Love never gives up, Never loses Faith, Is always hopeful and endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:7

 

 

Ceremony Day!

I might make a big deal out of the little things but I think everyone knows the little things are the ones that matter. There are those little moments when you know they won’t ever repeat and you want to cherish them forever, like their first word, first step and well this is the only time my son will graduate from Preschool and I wanted to make a big deal out of so he could be excited for what is next in his journey.

Counting the Days…

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So Sunday finally Ayden & Bree get back from their vacation!!

I just want to share some quick pictures that my mom has sent to me since she left..

Ayden dressed up as Juan Diego at the Basilica of Our Lady Of Guadalupe.
Ayden dressed up as Juan Diego at the Basilica of Our Lady Of Guadalupe.

Coming from a mexican family we have this belief where you make a promise to a saint in return for a miracle or something you really want. It could be anything to passing a test, to curing a family member, getting a job it could be anything. Last year Ayden was very sick my mom had made a promise that if  Ayden would get well, she would dress him up as Juan Diego (a saint) and take him to The Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe or also called “The Villa” and this year my mom had the privilege to do that.

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Bree in Veracruz and her cousins on the way to the Beach. If anyone knows hers you know how much she loves the ocean I mean look at her face!!

Pacing…

is what i’ve done a lot these past three days…

Aubrey & Ayden went on vacation with my mom (their grandma) this past friday! I was very hesitant on letting Ayden go, one because it would be the very first time he’d go on a vacation without me. Second some of you may know of the time he was hospitalized last year for about month and some days (which one day I will write about) makes things so difficult to have him away from me. I feel the need to over protect him and literally bubble wrap him so nothing can hurt him. What happen to him was very serious and at one point we thought we’d lose him. After what seemed like 100 serious conversations with my family, I gave in and let him go. For some, this is probably concerning but Ayden and Aubrey will never be in better hands than myself and second comes my family. Separating yourself from your kids can be very tough but showing them they can be independent, is what I knew I wanted to push as a parent. I might have forgotten that when Ayden came out of the hospital because I felt like I needed to do EVERYTHING for him to protect him from EVERYTHING!

ayden's first flight without mommy!
Ayden’s first flight without mommy!

Now, I am paying the price a little because he will not do anything without me being around and it’s still a struggle dropping him off at daycare, but we are taking it one day at a time and it is a learning process for both of us.

Aubrey in the other hand is a total “Live for the moment” kind of girl. She’s traveled several times without me and she loves it. I know when she grows up she’ll be the traveler of the two for now at least… My mom has been updating me and they are having the time of their lives spending time with my family in Mexico and visiting their great Grandmother which they are so privileged to have around to meet.

For now we will keep pacing around for the next to weeks and find something to do. We’ve done a whole lot of nothing and we’ve visited IKEA the past two days lol.

Love,

Adri